i had some awesome dreams last night. dreams where i was the supermom...

we went to europe and did the planned trip. and it was all on me to manage the three of us, and be the instructor, as well as the interpreter for everything. i did pretty good. and i even kicked ass when some bad guy in moscow tried to mug us. ::note to self: wear teh bike boots::

then i dreamed that i met someone over there who wanted to come here and live. so i married him. and it all worked out! he knew cad and a little english so i got him a job in my office and everything. it was awesome.

i guess it's the product of being so constantly busy, with the mind spinning like crazy on so many projects. or maybe my lack of a decent diet is taking its toll...

sometimes i feel very good, very positive, then i sink again. i know i'm not in the pit of despair(been there, done that, know exactly what it feels like), and i'm not manic. but i like the peacefulness of the ups. i wish they would stay for more than a few hours at a time.

yes, went out to lunch with lunch buddy.

yes, we both had lunch drips on our shirts from lunch. but who felt the overwhelming need to get a new shirt, necessitating a trip uptown to go into a couple of stores to find one?

sure wasn't me.

i'd say i was his job spouse. except sometimes, like clothes shopping for him, gets a little too... i dunno. maybe i'm his job mom.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/worklife/11/10/cb.seven.signs.work.spouse/index.html

fuck him.

maybe i need a job clothes makeover.
maybe i need to rollover and just play the fucking game like everyone else already.
maybe i need to move to europe. from here it looks close to utopia.

maybe i just need all this bullshit to be over already.

Sideways
Carlos Santana (feat. Citizen Cope)

You know it isn't easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
There are no words to describe it
In french or english
Cause diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
And I'm telling you

[Chorus:]
That these feelings won't go away
They've been knockin me sideways
They've been knockin me out litely
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that
Time will take them away
But these feelings won't go away