#2 just texted me. a not very nice text message but inviting me to her son's birthday party the same weekend the male parental unit will be in that town. she knows this.

i've already been making plans for that weekend. out of state plans.

so i told her as much. i am not going to bother reading her replies because i know that she is angry at me. and i do not need anymore stress.

i already feel like there is a weight pressing down on my chest. let's not send mom into cardiac arrest tonight.

the only thing i want to say to her...

"for fucks sake, either let me see the boy, or leave me the fuck alone you mentally fucked up bitch!" yeah, that and "get on some medication already!"

i'm feeling so fucking maternal tonight...

nope, not at the rope's end yet. there is just enough rope to make a noose...

went and visited the g'rents yesterday. didn't discuss the will crap.

grandma seems bent on trying to absolve my sister of any responsibility for the male parental unit's scheduled visit. but you know, he wouldn't come if he was told not to come.

then i was informed that i had told him off. i didn't.

so, there is manipulation going on in a big way in this whole fucked up situation. but at least i'm out of it.

and i bought a small statue of pan for the front yard. you know, freak out the pentacostal MPU if he should decide to force himself into my life while he is down here. and i have plans to buy a statue of baphomet too. just to sit by the front door. you know, being evil and all of that.

::sigh::

i won't be in this state while he is in this state. not if i can help it.

why is he forcing himself into our lives after all this time? i'm just being traumatised again. wasn't the first 14 years of my miserable existence enough???