grandma called last night, just to say hello and tell me that they love me.

that is one of those things i just don't hear very much of from them. never have. and i know it is only in response to my sister's actions that the call was made. you know, they want to make sure i'm not upset at them. gods forbid i get upset at them for stuff...

but anyways, i am seriously thinking about saying something that undoubtedly WILL upset them. a lot.

i'm thinking of telling them to change their will and give everything to my sister. that way i will never have to pretend to be nice to her. i will never have to speak to her again. there will be no need to be amicable about the fair division of all their stuff if i'm not in the will.

i totally disown her.

and you know? someday, my dealings with her, few as they are, will have to be about ME, not THEM. for fucking once. i have everything i could have ever wanted as keepsakes from them: grandpa's paintings, grandma's eastern star ring and other jewelry.

now, all i want is an el camino, maybe another motorcycle, and to never HAVE to speak to that two faced, lying piece of shit again for the rest of my life.

for whatever reason, plumbing engineer boy is back into taking me out to lunches and asking me to accompany him on smoke breaks again.

am i an addictive substance???

::sigh::


there is a drum jam at my usual hangout tomorrow night. so that means while i may not wear my party clothes to work, i will bring them with me and have my hair done up nicer.